Friday, December 17, 2004

ain't angeless anymore... (part I)

it has been two months since i'd got back to malaysia. but still no job, no good money, and i kinda lost sometimes on my 'direction'. can be said that i'm pretty unambitious kind of person. have lot of dreams...none hase been realised.

okay...put those things aside. these days, i'm really glad of what i am today. the person who i have turned to. because of this, i'm really proud and very thankful to my parents of what have they gave and thought me. eventhough i didn't turn up to be the best, but it is enough.

it was all triggered by the people who have been around me for this couple of years. no matter how they look like, no matter how good they are, no matter what they are, it was really made me understand no matter what it is, its all back to our selve to choose. and for the last 13 months of my stay in united kingdom, meeting different kind of person, different races, different believes...i started to realised how wonderful god has created me. there are lots of homosapian out there who seem to be a good individual. but later they turned to be the another side. some might be to appear in a good personality, having respectable life's philosophy, and these elements have drove me to worship their believe so much. but the truth is there are no more than just another person that put their 'well shown personality' to nothing. and there are lots of people that i really don't like when i first knew them, but later there are among the most honorable person that i've known.

from what has happened, it really taught me to believe that 'a book should not be judge by its covers'. i don't know how to prentend and camouflage, so when there is somebody who acts or behave in that way, especially somebody who close to me, its really make me sick. sick of being played around. as i said before, i'm kinda of person that seem to have live in blured path. and when somebody who have shown me 'something' that i can follow in order to clear out my direction, turned up to be somebody else/totally different on how i look on them as before...well what can i say. i just can accompany them a prayer, and hopeful the god will give them back the 'things' that they have lost.

to my friends...may god bless all of you in what ever you are doing. hehehe...